13 unintentionally scary love songs


Love can make us do some pretty strange things. It can inspire us to leave everything else behind and cross the country for a loved one, and sometimes it leaves us so dizzy that we are unable to complete even the most mundane tasks. (My mom loves to tell the story of a time she absently put the trash in the washing machine when she started dating my dad.) It can blind us to people’s faults, it can make us completely crazy, and sometimes that can lead us to write some pretty dubious love songs.

Whether they’re a little too obsessive, written about too young a love interest, or romanticizing a toxic relationship, there are a surprising number of songs about love that are actually way scarier than they were meant to be. . To help you know which ones to avoid when creating your Valentine’s Day playlist this year, we’ve rounded up some of the more disturbing examples. (For the purposes of this listing, we’re only focusing on songs that are involuntarily scary, meaning conscious portrayals of unhealthy relationships or songs that are specifically meant to shock – like “Die, Die My Darling” by The Misfits or “Necromancer” by Gnarls Barkley – just don’t do the trick.) Enjoy- by yourself. time, but maybe don’t do it in the presence of someone you are actively trying to woo.

Police, “Every Breath You Take” (1983)

The scariest lyrics: “Every breath you take / Every move you take / Every link you break / Every step you take / I’ll watch you”

This Grammy-winning hit by The Police sets the benchmark for deceptive tracks that first sound like harmless love songs before they get really creepy very quickly. It’s a stalker hymn, an ode to Big Brother, and Sting himself admitted it was scarier than he expected. “It sounds like a heartwarming love song,” he said in 2011. “I didn’t realize at the time how sinister it was.”

The Beatles, “Run For Your Life” (1965)

The scariest lyrics: “I’d rather see you dead, little girl / Than be with another man / You better keep your head, little girl / Or you won’t know where I am”

In which John Lennon claims to love a girl so many that he … threatens to assassinate her? Not only is it creepy and possessive, it’s not love, and it’s all the more problematic when you factor in Lennon’s real-life domestic violence story.

Weezer, “Across the Sea” (1996)

The scariest lyrics: “They don’t do stationery like this where I’m from / So fragile, so fancy / So I sniff and lick your envelope / And fall apart every time / I wonder what clothes you wear to school / I wonder how you decorate your room / I wonder how you touch yourself / And curse me for being on the other side of the sea “

Rivers Cuomo wrote this Pinkerton track after receiving a fan letter from an 18-year-old girl in Japan. Not only does the song poke fun at her fluency in English in a really cranky and condescending way, sort of racist (“You’re an eighteen year old girl who lives in a small town in Japan”), she sees a 26-year-old Cuomo-era woman lusting over the barely legal teenager by sniffing and licking her envelope and picturing her in her school clothes. Tip: If she’s young enough to still have a school uniform, she’s too young for you!

George Michael, “Figure of the Father” (1987)

The scariest lyrics: “I’ll be your father figure / Put your little hand in mine / I’ll be your teacher preacher / Whatever you have on your mind, baby”

George Michael begins this 1987 single by telling the object of his affection that he just wants to be “bold and naked by your side”. That’s pretty reasonable, but it starts to get weird when he volunteers to also be a “father figure” for that person he wants to be naked with. There’s nothing wrong with a May-December romance between two consenting adults, of course, but phrases like “put your little hand in mine” make us wonder what exactly is going on here.

Crystals, “He hit me (and it was like a kiss)” (1962)

The scariest lyrics: “He hit me / And it was like a kiss / He hit me / And I knew he loved me”

This girl group hit post is one we often hear slammed as an excuse for domestic abusers: it’s only violent because he loves me so much. He is unleashed because he cares. It’s, of course, a bunch of deeply unhealthy and categorically untrue bullshit, and the song is all the more problematic since it was produced by Phil Spector – who as we know abused women as well. . Murder too!

Garbage, “# 1 Crush” (1995)

The scariest lyrics: “See your face every place I walk / Hear your voice every time I speak / You will believe in me / And I will never be ignored”

We’ve all had crushes that have gotten a little intense before, but Shirley Manson takes it to another level on this one, which crosses the line from innocent infatuation to unhealthy obsession. “I will never be ignored” sounds a bit too much of a threat.

The Bee Gees, “Nights on Broadway” (1975)

The scariest lyrics: “Well I had to follow you / Although you didn’t want to / But that won’t stop my love from loving you / I can’t stay away”

A word of advice to all men: if a woman rejects you, take the L and leave her alone. (Especially if you find yourself, as Barry Gibb sings, in a dark room full of strangers.) Don’t – I’ll say it again, not – follow her and tell her that her lack of consent will not prevent you from loving her. It’s not devotion, it’s harassment!

Ringo Starr, “You are sixteen, you are beautiful (and you are mine)” (1973)

The scariest lyrics: “You’re just ribbons and curls, ooh, what a girl / Eyes that twinkle and shine / You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful and you’re mine”

Former Beatles drummer didn’t write this one so he doesn’t deserve all blame for it. (Part of that blame goes to the Sherman brothers, who were both grown men when they wrote this song, as well as Johnny Burnette, who had a hit when he was 26.) But still, a Ringo 33-year-old singing about falling in love with an underage girl and antics with a young Carrie Fisher in the clip is very scary.

Nirvana, “Drain You” (1991)

The scariest lyrics: “Chew my meat for you / Pass it back and forth in a passionate kiss / From my mouth to yours / I love you”

This no matter track takes codependency to a new level. It starts out innocently enough, with one baby telling another “I’m lucky to have met you,” but it quickly builds from there. We’re all for being passionate, but keep your chewed food in your own mouth, please.

Leona Lewis, “Bleeding Love” (2007)

The scariest lyrics: “But I don’t care what they say / I’m in love with you / They try to pull me away, but they don’t know the truth / My heart is paralyzed by the vein that I keep closing / You got me cut open and I / keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love “

Leona Lewis’s megahit is hailed as romantic, but her lyrics actually describe what feels like a pretty toxic relationship. Yes all your friends don’t like who you are dating and want to distance you from that person, chances are it’s because something is wrong and they are worried about your well-being. And then, love must not reopen old wounds. Leave it, already.

Ben Folds, “The Lucky One” (2001)

The scariest lyrics: “What if I was born 50 years before you / In a house on a street where you lived? / Maybe I’ll be outside when you cycle by / Would I know? “

This track from Ben Folds is, for the most part, just a sweet old love song. But when he gets to the second verse, things take a turn, and he inexplicably imagines a world in which he’s 50 years older than the object of his affection, watching her as she passes by on a bicycle, and wonders s ‘he – a 60-something man – would always recognize her – a child – as his soul mate. Ouch.

Clay Aiken, “Invisible” (2003)

The scariest lyrics: “If I was invisible / So I could just / Watch you in your room / If I was invisible / I would make you mine tonight”

This song by American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken sees him complaining that he’s invisible to the one he loves, before finding a deeply creepy silver liner to the situation and noting that at least if he’s invisible he should be able to stand. sneak into her room, watch her without her knowledge and “do [her] mine “in an unspecified manner.

Paul Anka, “(You) Have My Baby” (1974)

The scariest lyrics: “You are a woman in love and I love / What is going through you / The need in you / I see it showing / Oh, the seed inside you / Baby, feel it- you grow up “

Even if one disregards Anka’s problematic way of equating pregnancy with proof of love or the way he keeps saying “my” baby instead of “our” baby, this one this is undeniably off-putting. I want to say, “the seed in you“? There has to be a less embarrassing way to describe how excited you are to be a dad.

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